Supporting Men’s Mental Health: Insights from Nviro’s Bid Manager, Jake Ward

Since I attended university in 2015, I’ve noticed that men’s mental health is increasingly on the agenda. And I was shocked to learn a recent statistic: men account for 69% of all suicides, and it’s tragically the biggest killer of men under 40 in the UK, according to Movember. From personal experience, it’s hard to open up; statistics show that men are significantly less likely to talk about their mental health or seek professional help than women. You might be the main provider in your household, and that “tough guy” stereotype remains, having been brought up in a culture where traditional masculinity has meant not opening up emotionally.

While the stigma is loosening, it’s still there, and there’s more than can be done to support ourselves as men and those around us.

Movember’s ‘ALEC’ model

One of the leading charities championing men’s mental wellbeing, Movember have developed the ALEC model to support men (and women) in having conversations with the men in our lives. Given that just a single conversation can lift the weight off someone’s shoulders, it’s important I feel that we all take steps in learning how to check in and support each other.  Suicide is preventable.

The model takes four key steps:

• ASK: Ask them how they are and what’s been happening lately. It’s important to choose the right time to help someone open up, but asking the question and giving someone the space and reassurance to speak can work wonders. Just a simple “how have you been feeling in yourself lately?” can be the prompt needed to help someone. But don’t be pushy – something as direct as “we need to talk about your mental health” might come across as confrontational or make someone defensive.

• LISTEN: Easier said than done, actually! On our Mental Health First Aider (MHFA) course, they made a big thing of active listening – which is giving someone your full attention when they are talking. You can show engagement through actions (like nodding or smiling), and ensuring all distractions are put aside. Ask follow-up questions that allow them to expand and talk more, rather than putting your own point of view across.

Interestingly, Movember suggests there’s no need to hold eye contact for a super long time, as that can be intense for some men and make them feel under pressure, particularly if it’s a potentially uncomfortable topic.

• ENCOURAGE ACTION: This is about encouraging men to take action – to focus on simple things that could improve how they feel. I’m sure we’ve all seen articles and infographics relating to these – the outdoors, exercise, healthy diet, good quality sleep, and reducing alcohol and drug use – have well-established proven benefits to mental wellbeing. This is also where our team of MHFA’s can provide assistance, and direct to the right resources or professional help. It might also be good to offer to join in that activity, if you can.

• CHECK IN: Key to the process and support network; it sends a clear message to that person that you care and you’re in their corner. Reaching out again can make all the difference in reducing feelings of isolation. But it’s also important to develop and maintain trust and confidentiality. Asking questions can help to open up a conversation: “How have you been since we last spoke?” or “How has your sleeping/mood been since we last spoke?” Plan this check-in if you’re likely to forget.

It isn’t always easy to spark up a conversation with someone about their mental health, particularly if they might be defensive or – as a man – less likely to open up. Most of us have been there! Movember has some great resources and advice on how to approach these conversations.

https://conversations.movember.com/en/resources/how-to-talk-about-mental-health

What I would say, however, is that there’s no perfect. Just the attempt to support someone can be beneficial and make them feel less alone. As we head into the Christmas period, hopefully we can take this forward and be better-equipped to support those around us, both men and women, all-year round.

Written by Jake Ward, Bid Manager

Additional resources:

https://conversations.movember.com/en/ALEC/ – Movember’s ALEC model

https://www.matesinmind.org/training-and-resources/men-s-health-awareness-month-2024

https://www.thecalmzone.net/ – Campaign Against Living Miserably

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